I Didn’t Want a Cabin. I Wanted Out.
A few years ago, I googled “how to quit my job and never come back” on my lunch break. That probably tells you most of what you need to know about my headspace at the time. I was tired, eating sad desk salads, and fantasizing about running away to a cabin in the woods (with excellent Wi-Fi, of course).
I didn’t really want a cabin. What I wanted was out — out of meetings that could’ve been emails, out of the constant pressure to produce, out of feeling like life was happening to me instead of with me.
If you want to read more about my mind shift you can read it here.
For a long time, I thought financial independence was the escape hatch. But it turns out, it’s more like a doorway. And what’s on the other side? Choice.
- Autonomy: The Quiet Power Behind Financial Independence (How psychology tells us freedom is less about money and more about control over our own lives.)
- Escape Feels Urgent. Choice Feels Peaceful. (Exploring the difference between reactive decisions and empowered ones — and why it matters.)
- Motivation: It’s Better When It Comes From the Inside (Why intrinsic motivation leads to more sustainable, meaningful freedom — not just flashy goals.)
- Freedom Isn’t a Number — It’s a Mindset (You don’t have to be “done” to start feeling free. Even small financial wins create real autonomy.)
- So What Does Freedom Feel Like? (Getting personal: how money choices can serve your peace, not just your plans.)
Autonomy: The Quiet Power Behind Financial Independence
Psychologists talk a lot about autonomy — the need to feel like you have control over your own life. It’s one of the three core needs in Self-Determination Theory, along with competence and connection.
When you feel stuck in a job you hate, or in a cycle of debt and overwork, your sense of autonomy takes a hit. Financial freedom — even in small doses — gives it back. Not because you suddenly have yachts and passive income waterfalls, but because you know you could walk away, if you needed to.
That feeling? That’s psychological freedom. And it’s deeply motivating.
Escape Feels Urgent. Choice Feels Peaceful.
There’s a big difference between running away from something and moving toward something that matters. Escape is reactive. Choice is intentional.
This ties into the idea of locus of control — a fancy psychology term for how much you believe you can influence your own life. People with a strong internal locus of control feel empowered to shape their future. Financial independence supports that by giving you actual tools (like savings, flexibility, and time) to make real choices — not just dream about them.
For me, the shift happened when I stopped asking, “How can I leave?” and started asking, “What do I want my life to look like?” Way less dramatic. Way more helpful.
Motivation: It’s Better When It Comes From the Inside
Here’s another little gem from psychology: intrinsic motivation is the kind that comes from within — from doing something because it aligns with your values, not because someone else said you should. (Looking at you, hustle culture.)
When we chase financial freedom just to escape a bad boss or impress the internet, we burn out fast. But when our motivation is grounded in wanting peace, space, and the ability to show up how we want to? That’s the kind that lasts.
For me, the most satisfying money moments aren’t flashy. They’re subtle:
- Saying no to work I don’t want.
- Choosing to take a walk instead of picking up another side gig.
- Feeling calm when a surprise expense shows up.
Not exactly viral content. But it’s mine.
Freedom Isn’t a Number — It’s a Mindset
Here’s the plot twist: You don’t have to be fully “financially independent” to feel financially free. A few months of savings. A side income. A simpler lifestyle. All of these can create margin — and margin is where choice lives.
This doesn’t mean we ignore the money side. But it does mean we don’t wait for some perfect milestone to start living differently.
So What Does Freedom Feel Like?
It’s not just about net worth. It’s about emotional bandwidth. It’s about waking up and not feeling dread. It’s about knowing you have options — and trusting yourself to choose the one that fits, not just the one that pays.
If you’re somewhere on this path — simplifying, saving, trying to make sense of it all — I’m right there with you. It’s not always easy. But it’s worth it. Not because we’re trying to escape life, but because we’re finally choosing to live it with intention.
Gentle Questions for the Road:
- Where in your life do you already feel free — even just a little?
- What’s one small choice you’ve made lately that brought you more peace than progress?
- If money wasn’t the loudest voice in the room, what would you hear instead?
